Oh man. How can you describe something that taxed you so much mentally? This program really did a number to my mental health. How was it different from last year? Well, obviously, this year I was in charge. I found out there's a BIG difference between being the assistant camp director and the camp director. I was just so emotionally and mentally drained each evening from making decision after decision. Last year, I went running three mornings. This year? I ended up driving between camp and the pavilions WAY more than I want to admit and I didn't even get to go on the hikes.
The Good:
The women. I had a committee of 12 women who, except for the cooks, were doing this on a strictly volunteer basis. It was not their calling. They simply love YW and want to be involved with camp. In addition to them, working with the Stake YW Presidency is amazing. I like all of them so much.
The girls. They're able to remain happy and upbeat in the face of a lot of crappy things.
The service project. This year we worked with the state park to carry out an invasive species pull. It turned out really great and we learned a lot from doing it.
The boating. Last year it was more random, but this year, we dedicated an entire day and were able to rent the boats for a great price.
Going up early with YCLs. We took them up Monday and were able to do some training and have fun with them without the younger girls around. It worked out really well, and it's something we'll do next year.
The guns. Holy crap. We took the girls shooting on a gun range. For reals. I was terrified of it, but it turned out great and we only had one girl ask to go back to main camp. I still hate guns SO VERY MUCH, but it was something we could do to give the girls a bit more "high adventure."
The food. Our camp cooks are amazing. Food tastes delicious and watching them work is so fun. Such a machine!
The Bad:
The rain. Omygosh the rain. It rained so much. The one day we needed it to not rained, however, it didn't! But the first night my tent got soaked and was out of commission for the rest of the week. I stayed in the cabin with the camp nurse and her baby, which wasn't ideal (did you read the part about the baby? although, to be honest, I barely heard her), but it was a million times better than a wet tent where all of my possessions were getting wet. But it also meant the wards didn't get great campfire time. We also had a ruined breakfast that was supposed to be cooked over the fire.
My sleeping quarters. As mentioned, my tent got drenched the first night (I'm talking puddles inside). It was terrible. Next year, I'm considering bringing the Scamp. I just couldn't handle the anxiety of watching the rain, wondering how wet my tent was going to be. It really didn't help my mental ability to make camp decisions. However, if I had the Scamp, I could rest easy and not have that additional stress. We'll see.
It's a long week. We started with YCLs on Monday, and everyone came up Tuesday. But we didn't get to go home until Saturday. It just seemed long.
Issues with the girls. We had two major issues come up. One week, in the woods, with 75 girls...it shouldn't be a surprise. But it's hard. Yes, I was thrilled to have other smart women around to help me figure out what we should do, but you're always wondering if you did the right thing.
I got back Saturday afternoon. Twenty four hours later, Chuck left for six days of scout camp. Awesome. They did a 50-mile high adventure one this year. At mile 48, his shoes failed him and he got some blisters. But otherwise, he enjoyed the boys and was happy to have his hammock. I was super happy for the bishop's wife who offered to watch my boys for free (well, the cost of enrolling them in Vacation Bible School) so I wouldn't have to miss another week of work for a church camp. How grateful we are to this good woman!
And now, next year's camp is less than ten months away. Oy.
I did it. I survived Girls Camp! (I say, as if people actually thought I wouldn't.) Here are my thoughts on camp and being the assistant stake camp director:
The girls: For the most part, I have no complaints! We had 86 girls from the different wards, and about half that many leaders. As my calling was on a stake level, I didn't have a lot of direct interaction with them, except for the YCLs (youth camp leaders). They are good girls who are (mostly) excited about being there. Sure, there are some issues and some girls that make it really difficult for everyone, but with nearly 90 teenagers, in the woods, with no phones, for a week...they did great. There was the one night I could hear them awake at midnight until I threatened them with a night hike.
My job: I was lucky enough to be assigned the daily hikes. Every day I led a group of girls on a hike. I had YCLs and adults to help corral the girls. The 1st years do three miles, 2nd years do five, and 3rd years do...whatever (which ended up being about 3.5). It was a really great way for me to get to know some of the girls. I also got to know almost every trail in the park. (There are roughly 12 miles of trails, and I hiked 10 of them.) They were pretty standard forest hikes, but it was nice to be moving and with the girls. I liked that job. Outside of that, I just made sure that people knew where they were supposed to be and that they got there.
The food: For the past eight years, two women in our stake have done the food. And when I say, "do the food," I mean they do EVERYTHING. And they do it outside, on stoves or in dutch ovens. They are amazing. We ate breakfast casseroles, asian chicken salad, pulled pork sandwiches, pineapple upside down cake...so much good food. And the best thing about it was that I didn't have to make it...or plan for it...or buy it...or hear two boys complain about it. It was maybe the best part of the week.
The location: We went to a state park (one of the two my family hasn't been to) in western Maryland. Like most of Maryland's state parks, it was in a forest and had nice bathrooms (yup, with showers). The very good part about it is that because it's "in the mountains" (re: at an elevation of 2500 feet), the weather was really much better than at home. Our highs were in the 70s. The very bad part about it is that "mountain" weather can change very quickly. We had mostly sun, some clouds, and rain. The worst rain fell at 4 a.m. on our day of departure. Which meant 34 very wet and muddy tents to pack up. Which meant 34 tents to set up, clean, and dry back home.
My sanity: It was hard. It's like parenting in that you're always on. And these were even longer days than my at-home parenting because these girls didn't get in their tents at 7:15 p.m.! So mentally, it was exhausting. I did get some runs in, which helped. But I mostly felt like I was walking around going, "Um, what am I supposed to be doing?" Being tired didn't help. With little to no wind-down time each night, I had a harder time falling asleep there than at home (hence the melatonin, just like Emily said I should bring). This meant later nights than I was used to. Oh, but I did enjoy being in a tent by myself! (Adults can't be in tents with girls.)
The aftermath: I could not stop thinking about camp-related things for about two full days. What went well, what didn't. What changes would I make/suggest next year. Then there was the hour spent online reserving the 40 sites (plus two shelters and a recreation hall) for next year. I'm still working on some other clean up (post-camp surveys, reimbursement, yearly camp project plan, thank yous), but I think I should get a break from it soon. Maybe. Hopefully.
Remember when I said our FHEs were going to focus more on just having fun rather than teaching our young sons deep doctrine (as if that's what we'd been doing)? I got this ridiculous idea to make a book-based movie. Why? I don't know. I think it was mostly because I knew I could stretch it out to three-five weeks' worth of FHEs and let's be honest: coming up with a different FUN activity each week is hard. But it turns out that making a movie with little boys is also hard. Oh well, they loved it...mostly. You can see that Ollie is a bit surly at times.
I recently realized that our family doesn't have fun together very often. Sure, we can laugh at times and enjoy each other's company, but really have fun? All four of us? It's rare. Does it not happen because we're four different individuals with four ideas of what fun is? Does it not happen because there's little room in the day? Does it happen because the parents are tired? Yes, yes, and yes.
To remedy this, I decided that Family Home Evening (FHE) needed a revamp. We needed less lesson and more activity. Not that our lessons were long (maybe read a story from the Friend) but apparently that was too long. So we've changed it. Now we read one scripture and talk briefly about it. Of course this takes longer than expected because some members of the family have a hard time sitting still for even one scripture. But once that's done, we go directly to the fun activity.
So what fun activities are we doing? We've played tennis (that was a hit so we did it twice), taken bike rides, gone fishing (Ollie was NOT excited but changed his mind at the end), played games, and uh, that's about it. Like I said, this was recent. And, of course, we have dessert. It's not changing our lives, but at least, for an hour or so each Monday evening, we have fun together.
Chuck and I had no part in helping Rhett craft his first primary program talk. When I received the program script in an email, I was surprised to find he already had something penned. Apparently he had worked on it during primary with his teachers. Great! I didn't have to do anything. Rhett delivered it like a champ, but with a bit of ad-libbing (see below in italics). He told us later that he likes to make people laugh. Uh, it worked!
"I can show my faith in Jesus Christ by trying to keep his commandments. If I make a mistake, I can repent and be forgiven. One time I was jumping on the trampoline with my brother, Ollie. He had something that I wanted. I asked for it and he said, "No." Then I told him I had something in my hand that he needed to live. I said I would trade him for the thing that I wanted. He gave it to me, and then I opened my hand and showed that what I had to trade was oxygen. Ollie was upset because I tricked him, so he scratched my face, and I still have the scars. My mom made me say sorry and give the thing back. I learned that tricking my brother doesn't work and I wanted to say that Ollie is a big tattletale and that I need to say sorry when I trick him."
Right before Chuck went back to work last month, we went to Philly to see the new temple. And as we've never taken the kids to Philadelphia, we thought we should take them to see some of the sights. Thankfully the drive was just over two hours, so I'm sure we'll be back. (Hahaha...you know, because we've made such an effort before now.)
Anyway, got to the temple bright and early and quickly went through the open house.
Our first stop was the mint, but no pictures allowed. We all liked it a lot, however. Then we headed to the Liberty Bell. Not sure what the boys thought, honestly.
We didn't get tickets ahead of time for Independence Hall, so we had to spend a couple of hours. But with our packed lunches (like my kids would eat a cheesesteak) and junior ranger activities, the time was easy to fill.
Back for the tour.
Then the long walk back to the car. It was kinda painful and I may have had flashbacks to walking in Europe. But they made it. And we got home. AND the day turned out actually okay! Hooray for us!
Saturday was Rhett's baptism. We had most of our good friends there to celebrate and it was a really simple program...just how I like it. (And how Rhett likes it, I'm pretty sure.)
He was given a gift of Pokemon cards, his first new set. He may have been slightly preoccupied at the start of the program. Ha.
Before...
...After. It should be noted that Ollie spent the entire service sitting in the back row, pouting (see top picture about Rhett getting Pokemon cards and him not). Well, at least he was quiet and idle.
Beating up his brother. Well, guess he has something to repent of now.
After 164 issues of a sacrament program, 179 issues of a Relief Society bulletin, and a numberless amount of candy taken from the Bishop's desk (upon which he has a candy jar), I'm done! Released of those callings! And sadly, I never was brave enough to carry out one of these genius ideas. I should have, I really should have. Oh the regrets.
P.S. Even though I won't miss my Friday trips to the church to make the copies, I will definitely miss having a master key to the church.
P.P.S. I went out with a bang. Totally made a typo, an unintentional one! D'oh!
On Sunday I was given calling #4. If you ask me (which you didn't, but oh well), I think this is about three too many for a ward my size. I'll be honest: one (Provident Living Sunday School class teacher) I'm kinda laid off from, but I've never been released so I'm counting it. Two other callings are similar: creator of the sacrament meeting program and the weekly Relief Society program. The fourth (and by far, the WORST-to-me calling in the church; here are my best) is: Gospel Doctrine teacher. (I'm not quite ready to talk about this without crying, so I won't now.)
I've been doing the bulletins for over three years and I'm kinda getting bored by them. (The Bishop won't release me, so please don't suggest this.) On Sunday, Chuck and I brainstormed some ideas that will, if nothing else, make me enjoy doing these again. If you have any to add to our ideas, please share.
1. Put in an intentional typo/grammatical mistake. The first ward member who successfully identifies it and brings me their program with the offense circled, wins a PRIZE!
2. Bored by the speakers? Well, do the weekly Sudoku!
3. Print the programs on fluorescent paper.
4. Somehow include a secret message or words.
5. Copy a comic from the Friend and put it in there. Hey, it's church approved!
6. Include a small black and white picture for kids to color.
8. (Before you read this, you must know that I've been including a picture of a different temple every week.) Photoshop a member of the ward into the picture of the temple. Something like this, perhaps? Aren't my Photoshop skills amazing?!
P.S. And if you can't see that I'm clearly kidding, know that I am. Please don't call my Bishop to warn him about these potential changes. On the other hand, maybe you should. It could get me released!
P.P.S. Saw Vice President Biden on Monday. You know, like you do.
I know you're not supposed to "want" callings. But c'mon. It's not like I want these for prestige or honor. I just think they're (a) easy or (b) fun! Here are what I consider to be a marriage of both:
1. Finance Clerk. Because this is the numbers-heaviest calling outside of Church Statistician, I have to go with it. 2. Ward Clerk. I don't even really know what a ward clerk does exactly, but I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy it. And pretty sure I'd rock it. 3. Sacrament/Relief Society Bulletin Editor. This is my current calling--score! It requires a bit of computer work and a trip to the church every Friday to make the copies. Then I get to leave the programs on the Bishop's desk...right next to the decreasingly-full jar of candy. 4. Librarian. I get out of Sunday School AND I get to organize stuff?! Win win! 5. Relief Society Teacher. What's better than a Sunday-only calling? A once-every-fourth-Sunday-only calling! I'll take it.
Apparently Activity Day Girls is quite desirable, but I know nothing about it. Are there others I'm missing?
P.S. This job is perfect for me, no? So mad I don't live in Oakland.
It's over. I was released. After more than 2.5 years, my Wednesday nights are empty again.
When I read obituaries in the Salt Lake Tribune, I see this text often: "LaRue loved serving in _____." I'm really not sure I could say that about the Young Women. To be fair, I'm not sure I could say that about any calling, really; it's just my personality. I'll do it because the Bishop asks, and I'll try to do the best job I know how. However, I'm pretty sure I'll never be one of those women who really loves doing any church job. I'm okay with that.
I will say, however, that I really did enjoy it. Yes, it took a lot of hours and feelings of guilt ("Am I doing enough?"), but I love that age of person. Even though I don't want Rhett to be a teenager now, I still really look forward to when he is. I feel I relate to them so much better than to Primary-aged kids and sometimes even better than I relate to the Relief Society. So now that I'm released, I really do fear what comes next, because for me, the new calling could be so, so much worse.
What did I learn? To be honest, most of what I learned was about parenting teens. Or, sometimes, how not to parent teens. (And just so you know, most of this is recorded for my sake, since obviously they are the things that bothered me. Please take no offense as none is intended. I know I have no teens yet and therefore my stances could totally change in the next ten years. Won't this be a funny post then?!)
1. Teaching the Gospel at home really does matter and make a difference. If I didn't know anything about the parents of my girls, I could easily split them into two groups: those who got Gospel instruction (meaning FHE, scripture study, prayers, discussions) at home and those who didn't. It really does make a difference. So sometimes when I feel like I don't want to do that kind of stuff at home with Rhett and Ollie, I am reminded of how much they'll need it in 10-15 years and I'm pulled right back to it. Seriously people, it makes a difference.
2. Church stuff (mutual night, Sunday classes, youth conference, girls' camp) isn't optional. I'm sorry if you don't want to go, but you're going. You're going because you need to support leaders who planned activities. You're going because you need to learn that that's just what we do as church members. You're going because you know that once you get there, you always have a good time. The end.
3. Electronics are not necessary when you go to these church activities. Okay, okay, I may not have a fancy iPod with my scriptures on it (whoops--now I do!), but do I really need it? No, I have them in hard copy. To have the electronics (phones or MP3 players) is simply a distraction (in my experience). And your phone? Honestly? You can't go three hours without texting your friends or playing Angry Birds? These things simply don't belong at church for the youth. I went through YW without it all and I survived. If there's an emergency, adults will have the ability (re: legs) to contact parents (who are likely just upstairs in Relief Society/Priesthood/Primary).
4. Manners matter too! It's amazing to me how many of the girls when given a treat or after a lesson, don't remember to say thank you. Really?!
5. I'm not sure if this is a function of living outside of a heavily-Mormon-populated area or just my ward, but when the youth don't see each other often (most of my two dozen girls were spread out over 12 or so schools, meaning only one or two at each school), the cliques that I experienced during YW days in Utah don't exist here. These girls never get tired of seeing each other. I had very little (if any) backbiting, for which I am truly in awe. The girls really amazed me in this.
6. Youth will never know what a sacrifice it is to be a leader of youth until they are such a leader. Sure they love (for the most part) attending mutual, camp, sleepovers, etc. But they really don't know how much you don't. They don't know how much the leaders would rather be at home with their own families (you know, spouses we chose!), than at _____ (camp, mutual, youth conference, etc.). Especially when going to _____ requires either the mom or dad to take off work to watch kids or be at camp. It's a sacrifice for sure. A sacrifice we'll do willingly, but a sacrifice nonetheless.
7. Learn how to commit to things. If you say you're going to do something, do it. Don't pull out of something big (cough cough, Girls' Camp, Youth Conference) two days in advance. You know, after monies have been paid and meals planned and transportation arranged. On the flip side, if you want to do something, tell planners in advance! Two days notice is bad enough to pull out of something, but it's even harder to want to go in. Make a decision and then stick with it (emergencies excepted, of course).
8. To have a youth in the YM/YW programs might mean that you as parents have to get involved (should work/family schedules allow). It means that you might have to go to camp; it means that you might have to go to youth conference; it means that you might have to chaperone a youth dance. I feel so strongly about this that Chuck and I have already had conversations about the activities we'll be attending once the boys are old enough (he: Boy Scout camp, me: pedicures while the boys are at Boy Scout camp).
9. Finally, laugh. Seriously, teenaged girls are about the funniest things on the planet. Remember the hyper? It still makes me laugh. These girls are energetic, creative, and just plain hysterical. I will miss them.
Who can guess why I've been thinking about the following scripture lately?
Genesis 3:16 "Unto [Eve] he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."
Let's ignore the last clause, shall we? That's not where I'm focused today. Rather, I'm looking at the statement wherein women's sorrows are multiplied and we're told that women will bring forth children in sorrow. I thought we weren't supposed to be punished for Adam's (or Eve's) transgression.
I guess I just don't understand why women were given this "punishment." I'm not saying I don't want to bear children, but why does it have to be in "sorrow?" Because really, right about now (35 weeks), I'm definitely sorrowful. My hands hurt (the carpal tunnel is migrating to the right hand as well), my torso hurts (uterus jammed into rib cage anyone?), my back hurts, my belly is heavy and tight, my back is acne-filled, I am quickly running out of clothes that cover my belly, my body is under-exercised and exhausted. Like I said, I'm sorrowful. I usually blame a lot of this on being short, but I'm pretty sure tall women get sorrowful during pregnancy too. And let's be honest. The sorrow doesn't end right after delivery. I'm not leaving the hospital in my size 2 jeans (hahaha--did you catch that hilarious joke?! Size 2. I kill me.). The sorrow continues for a long time. Childbirth is just not easy.
But here's my beef: Why does childbearing have to be this way? Why can't I lay an egg, Chuck fertilize it, we watch it for a couple of months, and VOILA! A baby! Or, why can't the baby develop faster than 40 weeks? Say a 30-week gestation? I felt okay at 30 weeks and would have been happy to deliver at that time if I knew the baby would be healthy. I just think that God, in all His wisdom, could have figured out some other baby-making method. But right now, I am left feeling punished and sorrowful, maybe just a little bit picked on because I'm a woman.
In an effort to understand this, I asked Chuck his thoughts on this scripture. Here's what he came up with.
Chuck: Maybe it's to build a bond between mom and baby. Erin: Nope; sorry. I don't buy it. I mean, you bonded with Rhett and you didn't have to carry him for nine months. And look at all the moms who adopt and bond with those children. Most of those moms weren't around for the nine months at all, and yet, still bonded. DEBUNKED.
Chuck: Well, if you keep reading. God also gives a punishment to Adam, namely, "cursed is the ground for thy sake." So Adam gets his curse too. Erin: Oooookay, but isn't this really a punishment on both Adam and Eve? To me, this curse is one that is saying instead of God providing all the food as He did in Eden, He was going to make Adam work for it. Taking a traditional view, men may be the ones harvesting, but aren't women the ones cooking it? If Eve wasn't cooking before, she certainly was after. Where's the Adam-only punishment? Not fair. DEBUNKED.
Chuck: That's all I got. Erin: AHA! See. There's no good reason why this experience has to be sorrowful. Well, at least not one that I can see. In my world, it won't be this way. At a minimum, men will be the gestating ones. Time will tell if I decide to make their gestation a sorrowful one or not.
P.S. If you think I'm being a baby and a complainer, you're right. So no need to leave a nasty comment. If, however, you have some insight into this, please share. Otherwise just feel free to gloat in your head that you're better than I am.
Last Sunday, our church meeting time moved from 8:30 a.m. (best time EVER) to 12:30 p.m. (one of the worst times ever). But in an effort to find the good in things, I noticed that there are a few good things about later church. I'll just need to remind myself of them every time I want to complain.
Pro: We can have much slower breakfasts than we had with early church. Con: No nap for Rhett: church goes right through it and to wait until we get home is just too late.
Pro: No nap might mean earlier bedtimes on Sunday. It certainly equalled a late morning on Monday. Con: I hoped it would mean a good nap on Monday too, but if this past Monday was any indication, then I'm in trouble.
Pro: Despite the fact that Rhett's been sleeping in later and later, we still rely on him to be our alarm on Sundays. This made for a really fast morning with early church. But with late church, we don't have to worry about it. Con: He's not sleeping in that late. I mean, people with older kids or no kids might get to sleep in until 8 or 9 or later. Oh the luxury.
Pro: My meetings (PEC, ward council, what-have-you) will now take place before church. Con: I get really hungry since I can't eat between 10:30 and 4. At least Rhett gets a snack in nursery.
Pro: We get to listen to NPR's Sunday Puzzle podcast live. Con: Poor Chuck will miss all 1 p.m. Redskins football games come next fall. (Of course, they are the Redskins: there's not much to miss. Besides, we do have the TiVo.)
Pro: Once it warms up, we'll be able to walk Bruno in the morning. It gets us moving and wears out Bruno for our four-hour absence. Con: Once you get home from church (and this is especially true in winter), your day is essentially over.
And not related, but still a pro/con. We recently got our 2011 tax assessment for our house. Pro: It's about 22% less than it was last year. Con: It's about 22% less than it was last year.
