Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Magnifying (two of the four of) My Calling(s)

On Sunday I was given calling #4. If you ask me (which you didn't, but oh well), I think this is about three too many for a ward my size. I'll be honest: one (Provident Living Sunday School class teacher) I'm kinda laid off from, but I've never been released so I'm counting it. Two other callings are similar: creator of the sacrament meeting program and the weekly Relief Society program. The fourth (and by far, the WORST-to-me calling in the church; here are my best) is: Gospel Doctrine teacher. (I'm not quite ready to talk about this without crying, so I won't now.)

I've been doing the bulletins for over three years and I'm kinda getting bored by them. (The Bishop won't release me, so please don't suggest this.) On Sunday, Chuck and I brainstormed some ideas that will, if nothing else, make me enjoy doing these again. If you have any to add to our ideas, please share.

1. Put in an intentional typo/grammatical mistake. The first ward member who successfully identifies it and brings me their program with the offense circled, wins a PRIZE!

2. Bored by the speakers? Well, do the weekly Sudoku!

3. Print the programs on fluorescent paper.

4. Somehow include a secret message or words.

5. Copy a comic from the Friend and put it in there. Hey, it's church approved!

6. Include a small black and white picture for kids to color.

7. Include any of the rankings found on the By Common Consent blog. (Here, here, here, or here, for example. And this one. Haha.)

8. (Before you read this, you must know that I've been including a picture of a different temple every week.) Photoshop a member of the ward into the picture of the temple. Something like this, perhaps? Aren't my Photoshop skills amazing?!

P.S. And if you can't see that I'm clearly kidding, know that I am. Please don't call my Bishop to warn him about these potential changes. On the other hand, maybe you should. It could get me released!

P.P.S. Saw Vice President Biden on Monday. You know, like you do.


  1. Hahahaha. My favs (and you should do them!): 1, 2, 6, and 8. Hahaha.

  2. From bottom to top: VP Biden! So cool! I nursed in front of his security detail! How'd you run into him?

    I know you're kidding about this, but I think Bishop would get a kick out of your ideas!

    I'm a fan of and think you could get away with ideas #5 and 6!

    I canNOT wait to hear about your GD teaching calling! I SO wish I were there for this! I'd be your biggest fan/snarky commenter!

  3. ahahahahahaha! This totally reminds me of my friend freshman year who was in charge of the ward bulletin...our bishop at the time was in the printing business so he was always looking over the bulletin in ward council and commenting about everything that was wrong with it. My friend got so annoyed hearing about it that one day she made up a fake bulletin, full of mistakes, for the bishop to review. He about had a heart attack. Sooo funny. I bet you could totally get away with this with Bishop Baird.