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1. Log on at 6:00 a.m. from my home workspace (aka, the playroom)
2. Do my paid job in the same room where my boys are doing breakfast screens
3. Make sure my boys clean up their breakfast dishes, which usually requires asking three times, the last one a bit louder than the previous two
4. Do my paid job
5. Break up brother fights
6. Do my paid job
7. Encourage the boys to get chores done so they're not all saved until Saturday
8. Do my paid job
9. Manage the schooling by making sure they're logging on at the correct time
10. Do my paid job
11. Manage the schooling by making sure they're doing their weekly assignments
12. Do my paid job
13. Enforce morning recess
14. Do my paid job
15. Tell them to go back outside and finish recess because they were only outside for 10 minutes
16. Do my paid job
17. Make (and eat) lunches
18. Give the boys screens
19. Do my paid job
20. Sign off at 4:30 p.m.
When we got the announcement that schools were closed, I knew immediately that we needed a schedule, as much for my boys' sake and for my own. So for the first two weeks when Chuck wasn't working, we had a great schedule. Mornings were for chores, outdoor play, indoor play, hiking, Scouts and German for Everett, and recorder practice for Oliver. Next up was lunch. After lunch was screen time, giving everyone much needed rest time. Following screen time was time for more outdoor play. Then dinner, scriptures, journals, and maybe a family show (Malcolm in the Middle, mostly). It was great. The weather was (mostly) great, so we were able to get out on most days which helped everyone's mental and physical health. Every day was pretty much the same, with the exception of Tuesdays and Thursdays when I had to work (from home, of course). The days were loosely scheduled, but enough that my kids knew what to expect and I didn't have to hear, "Can we have screen" fifty times a day. I felt like I could keep this up for a long time. Well, some time. Well, a few weeks...maybe.
But then. School started. Remotely. On the plus side, the school system did as best as they could given the situation. Schedules were distributed, expectations were communicated. Elementary kids were to do math and english in the mornings, and secondary kids did all subjects in the afternoons (to lessen demands on electronicals within a household). But after two or so weeks I just couldn't make it work. We tried to get some schedules and routines incorporated with the schooling, but just couldn't do it.
Why? The big problem was that while Oliver's schedule was pretty set (MWF at 10 was math, TTh was reading), Everett's changed. He didn't have any classes on Mondays; Tuesdays and Thursdays are odd periods; Wednesdays and Fridays are even. BUT the teachers aren't required to hold actual classes; they're only holding "check ins" or just office hours. So he could have 1st period at 12:45 but then no 3rd and maybe 5th at 2:35. It was just so piecemeal and really hard to work around. I needed the boys to get out and have "recess" (what I started calling outdoor play once school was back in session), but it was harder and harder to squeeze it in because we just never knew if he'd have to get to class or not. And when Oliver went to math class, it was 20 minutes going over topics they covered months ago. (Apparently the county wanted everyone in the same place and his class was ahead.) It just didn't feel worth it. And if the boys don't have schedules and I don't know how long things are going to take, then I feel like *I* can't do anything. If I wanted to sit down and read for 30 minutes, I didn't know if I really had 30 minutes or just three because class wasn't class it was only a check in. And if was only three minutes, immediately the boys were asking if they could have screens. It was simply not sustainable.
So Sunday night I reached out to Oliver's math teacher to tell her he would not be joining her class. He would do the assignments, but just not log on to Zoom at 10 each MWF. What a load off my shoulders. Doing this completely freed up our mornings and put some routines back in. Now, MWF mornings are chores, recess, indoor play and then we go to lunch. After lunch both boys work on homework. It is so much better. The boys will be able to get outside more, something they desperately need. I will be able to know how much time I have to do stuff for me. (And by "stuff for me" I mean chores.)
In no particular order, here are the things that were cancelled and we're sad about it:
My parents visit to us
Chuck's sports on TV
Caps games (including the whole post-season)
Erin's Thursday night track runs
Boys gone all day at school
Camping trips
Oliver's fencing
Everett's hockey
Everett's escape room birthday party
Banff film festival
Youth activities
Everett's scout campouts, including the week-long one at Goshen
Two-day shipping from Amazon
We know some of these don't really matter; they're small things. But, they mattered to us. We liked them, that's why we chose to do them. And we miss them.
I saw a tweet recently that talked about how after wearing sweats for x number of days, the tweeter started calling jeans "hard pants." It's exactly how I feel. I know what I wear during a global pandemic is a lighter topic, it's still one I want documented.
I really have only two outfits, and they're basically the same. I'm wearing these lovely black leggings, which are lined with fleece and just warm enough as our house and the outside are just barely cold. They fit my short legs AND have a great wide waistband that doesn't come to my chest. They're comfortable, but enough pant-like that I can wear them on walks too. I NEVER wore leggings as pants in the before time; I really only wore them on work-from-home days and to run. But not now. I'm wearing jeans today (it's laundry day) and I'm just over them. I'm about to put on pajamas, and it's 2:30 in the afternoon.
On top, I have two t-shirts that I alternate with two sweatshirts on top. The sweatshirts are PERFECT. I had a black one before this began, but then bought another one from Poshmark because I loved the black one so much. They're warm, cuter than a plain sweatshirt, and the best part is that they have 3/4 sleeves. Which, in this era of constant handwashing, the shorter sleeves are much appreciated. So I alternate between the pink sweatshirt with black and white striped tee and the black sweatshirt with the orange tee underneath. Seriously. This is all I wear. (Notice how I didn't mention a bra. That's because I'm not wearing one. Sports bras for running and hiking are it.) How I'll revert to hard clothes is a mystery.
Oh, I have worn make-up exactly twice, and both times had to do with church meetings. One was for a Relief Society we did over Zoom, and the other was for a sacrament meeting we did over Zoom. To be honest, I look much better with make up. I know it. I don't even hate putting it on. But I despise taking it off, which means it could sit for two days and then it starts hurting my eyes. So I don't bother.
When I knew schools were shutting down for the forseeable future, I ran to the dollar store to get journals for my boys. I knew this event would be something they would remember forever, and I wanted that memory as correct as possible. Keeping a journal also helps with writing skills, and given the unknowns with school, I figured it couldn't hurt. (Of course, whether we'll be able to read Oliver's is up in the air. Ugh, third-grader handwriting.) But I should have done the same for Chuck and me: required writing. March 11 seems like forever ago, even though it's less than four weeks. I just remember that night, sitting on the couch, watching shows with Chuck, but mostly paying attention to crazy news I was reading on my phone. What in the world was happening?! It seemed like dominos were falling, first one thing was cancelled, and then another, and then another. It was all so shocking.
Of course I thought of myself and what all the closings and cancellations would mean. But then I thought of my husband and our boys. As we sat down to dinner on Friday the 13th (the last day of school at actual school), we told them three things:
- The adults in the house were not worried about those who lived in the house. We felt confident that even if we got sick, we'd be fine. And that the kids had the best chance of all of us! We were worried about older neighbors, older family members, those we know who already have health problems. But we wanted them to not be afraid.
- Be prepared to feel lots of things. It is okay! We're all feeling loss and mourning. It's okay to feel angry. It's okay to feel sad. We're all feeling it. It's okay to be bored. With all the restrictions, we know there will be things we can't do. And be stuck in the house might be fun at the beginning, it will get old. So Many Feelings.
- Be prepared to hear, "I don't know" a lot. There are so many things that are changing so quickly that we just don't know what tomorrow will look like. At the time, we didn't know if my parents were still going to be able to come out. We didn't know if we could go camping. So much unknown, so hard.
And now, almost four weeks later, these things are still applicable. Something new will come up that we learn is a loss, and we're sad/mad all over again. There are still so many things we don't know. And it's hard. But we're getting used to it. Maybe.
