As Chuck and I get closer to thinking about having a second baby, I can't help but think having two kids will be easier than having just one. But this thought makes me feel like I'm insane. Why would two kids be easier than one? It just seems like everything that was hard about having one baby would be not applicable with two babies.
First. With your first baby you have no idea what to expect. Now I do. Do I think that baby #2 will be exactly like Rhett? No, I'm a statistician; of course I expect variation. But just knowing what I'm getting myself into will be helpful.
Second. Rhett made me feel like a complete idiot. I had no idea what I was doing most of the time. Not that having one child made me a parenting expert, but I have a better feel for how to keep little babies alive (which is all that they really need for about the first six months).
Third. Another very hard thing for me was the identity crisis in which I found myself. Who was this new person that having a baby created? It seemed like everything that defined me had changed with Rhett's birth and I didn't know what that meant. I had to get to know erin-the-mom, not just erin-the-wife (that change was another huge adjustment, too). But now that I know who I am as a mom (and still wife, and still lots of other cool things too), I can't see this coming on as strongly as it did before.
Fourth. The boredom. Oooh, the incessant boredom. With an eight-month-old, I was so bored, I felt real anxiety for the days home alone with the baby. I wondered what in the world would I do with him? He can't walk, talk, and playing with his toys (while possibly entertaining to him) for six hours made me want to cry. And in fact, probably did make me cry on many, many occasions. Yes, yes, I could take him to the library, but to what end? Yes, yes, I live near D.C. and have a plethora of museums near me, but again, what's the point? The little guy has barely figured out his hands belong to him and you want me to take him to the Air and Space Museum? But with two children, this point is deleted. I can go to the Air and Space Museum for Rhett, not the baby. The baby will go and do whatever Rhett and I do. Rhett and I will love it and it won't feel like such a waste of time.
Okay, now tell me that in fact, I am taking crazy pills. Tell me that having two kids is much harder than having one. I can take it.
P.S. Someone please tell me that you get the movie reference in this title. I feel like Monday's reference (not in the title, but in the text of the letter) was a little too obscure.
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Zoolander:) Go for it! The two kids can entertain each other and you will be free to do stuff to entertain you:) Hang in there, one day your babies will grow up and be standing up there saying "I owe it all to my angel mother!" It will make all the crazy days so worth it!
ReplyDeleteIt's harder at first, but then it gets much easier. When #2 is about a year old your life will be super, super easy because #1 and #2 can play with each other. But, I'm not going to lie, the first few months with two are kind of rough.
ReplyDeletethe 1st few months of sny baby is hard, whether it is #1 or #10...there's something to be said for a few hours of straight sleep that correlates to a happy mommy. After those initial months are over, 2 is easier than 1. #1 suddenly has a playmate, you're not having to entertain him as much and you have another person needing you so your hours of daily boredom are seriously decreased.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and enjoy the ride!
i don't know today's but monday was dumb and dumber (not too obscure!) oh and i agree with amanda, too bad i'm still in the 1st few months with a newborn...but i do know that things will get better. and yes my confidence level with #2 has quadrupled, in a sense many things are easier. can't wait for the playmate time of my girls. i figure they'll be best friends in say 20 or so years.
ReplyDeleteeveryone's comments are great. i don't think things will necessarily be "easier," but definitely better. if that makes sense? sure, those first few months are rough with any newborn. so it's not easier. but it is a little better since you have an older child that can entertain YOU a little bit. :)
ReplyDeleteand it will be a little while before the 2 siblings will play together, but it will happen.
so easier? i'd say no. but better? definitely. you're not crazy.
I agree with everything that was already said! Honestly, I can't remember what it was like when Luke was born. Someone told me to write myself a letter about how much I loved my first child before baby #2 came...it was the best advice ever! I had this perfect little newborn and than this tiny 2 year old tyrant- you can guess which one was my favorite. In the end it was worth it! Everyday I'm so glad that we had Sam and Luke close together. They always have a playmate and are best friends. It is well worth any sanity lost during the inital process!
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew! I guess I'm in your same boat.
ReplyDeleteI was VERY overwhelmed with two at first. The thought of going shopping with two just about put me over the edge. However, I adjusted much more quickly to having two than I did to having one. I had many of the same issues as you did when I had Ellie. They are fun and worth it and after a few months you will forget what it was like to have just one. I say go for it! It won't get any easier the longer you wait.
ReplyDeleteWow, already thinking of baby #2, I feel like you just had your first one!! I think that you will be an amazing mother of two (three, four, etc.).
ReplyDeleteI think you should go for baby #2. I figured, we're going to have a second baby sometime, so might as well have them be close in age so they can be good friends. I really hope it's easier with baby #2. I guess I'll let you know in a couple months.
ReplyDelete