Monday, July 7, 2014

How to Have a Perfect 4th of July Weekend in 20 Easy Steps

0. Most importantly, order yourself a batch of amazing weather. This weather should include blue skies, a good breeze, low humidity, and low(er) temps. This is the one make-it-or-break-it as bad weather will ruin even the best plans. Also, secure yourself some excellent company. Once you complete those tasks, carry on with the rest of these instructions.

1. When possible, schedule the 4th for a Friday. It means that you can party on Friday, sleep in and get chores done on Saturday, and then enjoy the Sabbath.

2. Because you hope and pray that your kids (and you) will sleep in on Saturday, get your long run done on Friday morning.

3. Enjoy a church 4th of July parade and breakfast with a lot of your favorite people. (The rest of your favorite people all live far away. Sadly.)

4. Go home and take a nap. This nap should be taken by all members of the household, but especially those less than three years of age and greater than 35.

5. Wake up and immediately head downtown D.C. to get dinner of burgers or pizza (or both). Finish that dinner with an amazing strawberry shake. Let your kids only have the minimum amount so the adults can enjoy the greater part. And by "adults," I mean the female adult.

6. Walk to your kind-of-work building to secure great seats six floors up. Enjoy the *AMAZING* weather relaxing with friends.

7. When the fireworks begin, watch them.

8. When the fireworks end, proceed straight to the metro, wait less than one minute, and get on the train from your uncrowded platform.

9. Upon arriving home, place children directly into bed.

10. SLEEP IN until 7:30 a.m. Do not let this miracle go unnoticed. It will not happen again until children are teenagers.

11. Go for another run because it turns out you ordered your weather using a 2-for-1 deal and Saturday was simply stunning, so you couldn't not run.

12. Enjoy being outside with your children.

13. Go get a great haircut while your menfolk go to lunch.

14. Pick out fabric for nighttime sewing project.

15. While the males are all (yes--ALL) sleeping, go get your own lunch of frozen yogurt and do some grocery shopping. (Some things cannot be helped.)

16. Play in the creek.

17. BBQ some ribs for dinner and eat outside because, yes, the weather is that good.

18. Put the kids down for a regular bedtime.

19. Sew a new travel bag for your older son to replace the one you made last week that was too small.

20. Go to bed.


  1. Sounds fabulous! Our #1 step was leaving the kids with a babysitter...AWESOME!

  2. man i love this post. you're really a great writer. i love the steps and love that they all happened and so that you had a practically perfect 4th of july weekend! you're funny.

    the pictures are great, too. i like the boys' shirts. :) the ties are awesome. will you make my boys some for next year? :)

  3. I think I really must love you... because reading this makes me SOOOO happy! Just knowing how good this past weekend was for you - nay, how nearly PERFECT - it was just makes me happy!!!!!! Emapthy!!!!!

  4. OH, the 4th sounds and looks like it was AWESOME. I've been to DC for the fireworks once (many moons ago) but I remember they were AMAZING. SO cool. I hope you have a FANTASTIC vacation. A real vacation without kids. They are SO needed and appreciated.