And I don't mean that in an Uncle-Rico-"I-would-take-State" way.It's been a hard week. My church calling has been extremely taxing, and I'm exhausted. Often when I feel like this because of my calling or because of my job as a Mom, it'll cause days of "I wish my life wasn't my life." Ya know? Like, some days it's just too hard to be me. Or, it's just too hard to be me at this time.
For example, when I'm having days (or weeks) like this, I often wish I could go back to the spring of 2007. I think it was the best time of our marriage to date. Chuck and I were doing speed development training. I loved running with him. I love challenging ourselves and being able to share it. ("How were your 13 miles?") Also, we went to Puerto Rico for spring break that year. It was a fantastic trip. We were thinking about starting a family, but knew it was still a couple months away. It was just a great time.
And now? I still love my husband, and I really love my baby (oh my do I love that boy). But he's hard. And church is hard. And sometimes you just don't want to do anything except have three skinny cows for dinner and call it a day.
Please tell me I'm not the only one has these days. And, if you want, tell me into which "version of you" you turn.
What version of "me" do I turn into? When stressed to the max I refer to myself as a "rage-o-holic". I'm there with you though- life and all of its wonderful complications is hard. Andrew and I always comment that after each of the stressful patches (the times when everything collides at once) it seems that you stretch and are able to handle a little bit more the next time.
ReplyDeleteI laughed at your Skinny Cow dinner. I don't think I've cooked once since we sold our condo and began looking for a houses. Sam has started to make himself and Luke PB&J sandwiches....its every man for himself! Hang in there- you'll feel like a champ when your garage sale is over!
feeling the same way this week and the bombs just keep exploding....2 big ones dropped today, 3 dropped yesterday LOL some weeks I think it'll never end. I can't think about Easter day because I have to get through Saturday first. I tend to get depressed during these times and just want to stay in bed with the covers over my head.
ReplyDeletespeaking of which, I think I'll go do that now as I have so much to face tomorrow....why am I pushing to go to the ward brunch? oh yeah, the kids could use the interaction with their friends. I think that's what keeps me going, because I'm doing it for the kids.
Erin you definitely aren't the only one who has those days.
ReplyDeleteYou eat your skinny cows!! They're so good! And I know how you feel...and I think we all go through that from time to time. Tomorrow is another day!
ReplyDeleteOh totally!!!! It is HARD, mommying is NOT for the faint, that is for sure, but most of us wouldn't trade it for anything either, and I'm always planning vacations that I probably won't take, but it helps, even if I don't get to go. As for skinny cows, why can't you do that everyday, really???? ;) Cheer up Charlie!!!! We've all been there, and we'll all be there again!!!!
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