Monday, April 20, 2009

Will It Ever End?

Soon after Chuck and I got married, we wondered at what point in our marriage we'd stop holding hands everywhere we went. As we didn't see many long-time-married couples doing this, we figured the hand holding would likely cease at some point. And it did. (Although I can't tell you at what point.)

Now I'm dealing with another experience that I wonder will also see its demise: overwhelming, heart-filling, tear-enducing love for my son. Every night as Chuck and I are going to bed, Chuck goes into Rhett's room for one last goodnight look. I don't do it very often because I just can't handle the emotion. When I see the little man in his crib sleeping, I am brought to tears (every time) with the love that I have for this baby. And it's not just at night. Even as I write this, I'm close to crying. I'm just amazed that this little person I've only known for one year can do this to me. We can be playing in the playroom and I'll start thinking about it and...tears. Talking to Chuck about the funny things he did that day and...tears.  Laughing at the huge snot bubble created by a sneeze that stunned him to stillness and...tears.

But at some point this has to stop, right?  I don't remember my parents looking at me that way, although maybe they did and I just didn't see it.  I'm sure they love me (this parenting experience has certainly taught me that), but who can love a 13-year-old-who-is-demanding-Guess-jeans to tears?  Is it just easier to be moved this way when they're so little and pure and perfect, and not as easy once they're older and possibly sassy?  Those of you with older kids, what say ye?


  1. the teary moments will continue as your kids get older - they just might be fewer. i don't have super old kids, though, so maybe it continues to get fewer and fewer? but miles' sweetness and intelligence and beauty still gets me many a times. as well as jonas' silliness and tickly nature. and emmy's cuddliness and mothering-nature can also make me want to cry - and sometimes i do.

    i think we'll cry differently when our 13-year-old is demanding Guess And Only Guess Jeans.

  2. i hope it NEVER does, although my boys are little still too, so i'm no help really!!!

  3. I'm with Emily...the crying moments are definitely spaced further apart. It started at 15 months with Connor and it's been a blur since then.

  4. Justin and I always peek in on Molly at night, but no crying. I did once when I was holding her one night and she had fallen asleep and was like 3 months old. So there you go!