Thursday, July 9, 2009

Mr. Mom and Ms. Dad, Week 3 (kinda)

Last week was only a half week, but as of today, we have completed 10 of the 30 days.

He said: This week was much harder than the previous couple. Rhett was sick all week long and due to that he didn't want to eat, play, or do anything at all. I mentioned before that staying at home gets to be a bit boring. With a sick baby that wasn't the case. Even though he didn't want to do anything, I wasn't bored. Instead I was just constantly worried. He slept quite a bit and I had a good amount of time to think and worry about him. That was not easy to say the least. It was also hard because when he would wake up he would call out "momma, momma" over and over. It was hard for hime to not be with his mom, and that is hard for me to watch. That being said, It only confirms to me how much I love him. I have not had to worry about anything as much as I did my little boy last week. I have not felt as relieved as I did when his temperature stayed down for an entire day without medicine. I am looking forward to spending more time with him when he is not sick. I can't wait to read him the same book over and over so long as it means he isn't feeling miserable.

She said: This week was hard. Little Rhett was sick nearly the entire week, fighting off incredibly high (one reached 104.5!) fevers that left him whiny and too hot to be cuddled. He didn't want to eat or drink; thankfully, he slept well. I struggled because I didn't want to leave this sick boy. I wanted to be there holding him and comforting him and dealing with how hard it is to hold and comfort a sick baby. I didn't want Chuck to have to do that. I felt guilty leaving Chuck with a sick wee one because I know how hard it is.

I'm also finding that I don't feel that I'm that helpful to Chuck once I get home from work. In my part-time days, I would get home at 6 p.m., just enough time to feed Chuck and me (a dinner Chuck prepares, mind you), get the baby bathed (which Chuck always does), clean the kitchen, and put the baby to bed. Then it's beautiful "me" time. I really don't have to parent on those days at all. So now that I'm working four days a week, I find it's hard to get into a parenting routine when I come home from work. I know this is unfair because Chuck's been doing it all day. Why should he have to continue working so hard while I check Facebook? It's just a habit I need to try to break.

I'm starting to get nervous about returning to part-time because when I am with Rhett, I feel like I don't know how to keep him busy. I feel like I've lost all ability to entertain my child, because I'm out-of-practice. That's hard. And even harder is feeling like I don't like entertaining my child. I nearly cried reading this post today because I feel a lot of the similarities to the writer, especially the one of feeling like I'm not only alone in feeling this way, but am a horrible person for doing so. Dang! It's hard to be a mom!


  1. well it was just a hard week for everyone. having a sick child is just exhausting for all and exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally. i think it will be a better week. :)

    i read your link on that post. we all have moments and feelings like those. but i certainly don't agree with a lot of what she said: i like cooking, i like hanging out with my kids (not always, but definitely sometimes), i love teaching them, and i love reading books to my kids. so there are some definite struggles with raising kids (believe me - miles is so out-of-control i want to slap him silly), but also some good highs.

    i think it's also the stage that rhett is in. it is hard to entertain him b/c he's not yet in that pretend phase and so he needs you a lot to play. the day will come that he will be able to play a lot on his own in his own world.

    you're doing great, sis.

  2. I think every mother knows how you are feeling as well as the mother you linked to. I do agree with Emily though, we may not always like doing all the things we do with our kids, but I do enjoy them as well.

    I believe everything in life goes in stages and builds on itselfs. There are times I LOVE being a mom and there are times I HATE being a mom. Sometimes it gets to me and lasts a few days. Last week was a perfect example. I had a day I like to call "Mommy Dragon Day". If fire could have come spewing out of my mouth, it would have. It wasn't pretty. Luckily this week is better. My children don't seem any worse for the wear and we are going forward. There is a reason God made children so forgiving.

    I also learned an important lesson when Ellie was about 8 months old. I had had a really hard time adjusting to having a child. I had loved my job and really missed it and the freedom I had. My coworker had always told me that there was no way she could stay home with her two kids. I had totally believed her up until Ellie was 8 months old. It was right around that time that I realized that I was starting to learn to like to be with my child. I had always thought it would just come automatically. I think for some it may, but for me it was a learned thing. It made me wonder if many women don't like staying home simply because they didn't give themselves the time to adjust and learn in the new "job". Sure I still have days I don't like it - but that is true of any job you are ever going to have. You can totally love it, but there are times it will not be fun.

    Good luck. You are doing the best you can, and that's all that matters.

  3. 30 days 30 days and you'll be right back to the "old" routine. And I second you completely it is HARD to be a mom!!!!!

  4. That's too bad Rhett has been sick. No fun for any of you!