Seven Years!

Happy anniversary to us!

Christmas Gifts

Here are the Christmas projects I made this year.

These are niece Emmy's matching dresses for her and her doll. Oh how I hope they fit. Rhett decided he was too old to try on dresses I make. I used this tutorial from Red Dirt Mama.


Some finger puppets for niece Lucy. I started these when I was in the waiting room during Chuck's back surgery, and finished them minutes before finding out about the great basement flood.


A crayon roll from this tutorial at Skip to my Lou. The iron-on vinyl sure was interesting.


A fun little drawstring bag for a nephew. I think it was a great use of this totally awesome fabric. Tutorial found here at Yarnmonster.


A funny little cross-stitch for me. It makes me laugh.


A little skirt and diaper cover for a friend's friend's baby. Don't worry; I charged a lot for this commissioned work. One frozen yogurt, and the friend must take me out to get it. I told you I'm expensive.


Potholders for my sister-in-law.


2011 family ornaments. (From Dana's tutorial at Made.)


Although I didn't have the energy for pajamas, I did do some shirts for the boys. These were opened Christmas Eve.


What's next? Figure out how to use my new serger! Aiyiyi. So intimidating.

Christmas Day

I hadn't planned on posting anything today. In fact, I would prefer to post something totally un-Christmasy. Not because I'm a Scrooge, but just because I like to be different. (I'm such a brat, right?)

But I love this picture of my little family too much. I love my little family too much! And I love how Bruno eased his way into the photo shoot totally unnoticed until I was looking at the pictures on the computer.


And this one's great because the binoculars were Rhett's favorite gift of the day. And my favorite gift was watching Rhett play with them! Isn't Christmas so great with little kids? It is.

And that Bruno. Always in the midst of the action.

Christmas Advent

In addition to putting up an ornament on our Christmas tree advent calendar, this year we had little daily "activities." I really enjoy doing them, and every day Rhett wakes up asking, "What fun thing do we get to do today?" Here's a little taste of what we've done:

We made and decorated Christmas cookies.




We made ice cream one night. And then a couple of nights later, we made a "new dessert" and this year that dessert was a waffle cone in which we ate the ice cream.


We visited the temple to see its lights. (A visit to the temple always includes dinner at Continental Pizza and Subs.)


We saw the trains at Brookside Gardens.


And maybe, just maybe, we opened the Christmas Eve presents already. Seeing as though they were Christmas clothes, I thought it was okay.


Finally, we decorated a gingerbread house. I did get a picture of Rhett smiling, but I had to post this one because it's just so him. (First time I made a real gingerbread house. Please ignore the sliding roof and collapsing wall. We're still learning.)


Other undocumented (but not illegal) activities included: sang carols by the tree, had hot chocolate by the tree (which should be cider since only one person in our house likes hot chocolate), donated some food, read a book together as a family ("Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever"), had a red and green dinner (more like pink and green, but whatever). Overall, I am very pleased with how it turned out. Only eleven more months until we can do it again!

Merry Christmas!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Unfortunately I don't have a picture, but I'll try to keep this to less than 1,000 words.

Picture it: a trip to Home Depot. It's just me, Chuck, and Ollie, as Rhett was with the babysitter. We're looking for lumber so we can construct something to help keep water out of our window well. We didn't bother with a lumber cart because we knew it was only one two-by-four that we needed. We find the piece of wood and have it cut in half. But because of Chuck's back, he is unable to carry it. Instead, he's pushing the stroller while I have one piece of wood over each shoulder.

Let's just say it wasn't Chuck's manliest moment. It might have been mine, however.

Me vs. Baby Weight

For the first three months of me versus Baby Weight, BW kicked my butt. BW didn't feel like going anywhere, rather just hanging out and making me feel chubby, and ain't no one who likes to feel chubby. Turns out I'm really good at maintaining my weight, but not so good at losing it.

Eventually I got tired of losing the fight. To combat it, I decided that I'd do five days a week on a "weight loss" diet, followed by the weekends which would be my regular "maintaining" diet (but certainly not a binge diet). Also, I made weekly weight-loss goals, alternating between one and two pounds a week. (I'm no "Biggest Loser"--thank goodness!). And of course, I'm exercising every day but Sunday. Because I can't run with Ollie yet and because I prefer to exercise in the morning, I've been doing a workout video on weekdays and then running on Saturdays. It's worked out well.

I then spent a LOT of time planning daily menus that were completely balanced and not filled with too many fats, oils, and sugars (my ultimate downfall). Know what I learned? A couple of things. First, it's HARD to plan these menus! Seriously, new-found respect for nutritionists. Second, it doesn't take nearly what I thought it would to get my daily recommended amounts of vegetables and fruits, making it slightly easier. So I'm trying to find ways to get more protein and vegetables, since I naturally excel at fruits and whole grains. Finally, the dishes! All these "healthy" foods require me to cook at times when I normally don't (lunch mostly). But that tilapia fillet? Dirties a couple of dishes. That black bean and corn quinoa salad? More dishes. That snap-peas-and-chicken-and-strawberry to-die-for salad? Dishes! Ugh. I'm running the dishwasher and doing tons of dishes by hand. Peanut butter with jelly and a granola bar was so much easier.

And how's it going? Well so far, I'm down 7 pounds. At five pounds, I rewarded myself with a McDonald's ice cream cone. At 11 pounds, I get a pedicure. At 16 pounds I'm getting out my pre-pregnancy clothes. And the grand finale of 21 pounds? My shopping spree...a spree for which Chuck and I have saved money for months years. Oh how I want and need this. It'll be my own little "What Not to Wear," but without Stacy and Clinton (although I'll definitely have help). Who knows? Maybe I'll throw in a new hair cut too. (That is, if I still have hair after Ollie is done with me. Man, that kids has a kung fu grip!) Anyway, it's hard, but I know I can do it. I'm just really really missing my daily Hot Tamales fix.

P.S. I'm not kidding about that snap pea salad. Seriously. Get you some NOW.

Love this Baby

This ever-drooling, ever-spitting-up baby.


This ever-hand-eating, sometimes finger-sucking, ever-feet-eating baby.




This ever-attentive, ever-patient baby.


It's unfortunate these little people can't know how much you love them until they have their own. 'Cause DANG.

P.S. What are you getting for Christmas? Don't know? How about an ice cream maker? Because seriously, if you don't have one, this ice cream alone is worth the purchase. So good. So so good.

What's Getting Me Through

I feel like it's been a long time since we went on vacation. After this very trying week, I feel vacation-needy.  We were in Utah last January, but that feels like it was so long ago. And now with Chuck's back and baby Ollie, traveling is just not in our near future.

But there's hope. Summer 2012: I think and am pretty sure that we'll be spending about a month in Utah. I've been cleared to work from "home" (yes, my work knows I'll be in Utah) for that long, and with my parents on a mission, well, we might just invade their house. If they were there, I'd feel like a month would be a bit of an over-stayed vacation. But since we won't be bothering them at all, let's do it! It'll make all the Utah-weekenders (like Tetons, Moab) so much more doable. I am pumped.

Then, about a year after that when my parents finish their mission, Chuck and I (sans kids) are heading to Japan! We're definitely going to take advantage of my parents being over there; how could we not?!

And finally, about 18 months after that, Chuck and I celebrate our 10th anniversary. We're already saving money for this trip (along with the Japan one) and think we'll do a cruise. Chuck really wants to experience a cruise and since we'll have done Japan, I'm okay with it. If we go over our anniversary (late December), we'll do Caribbean. If we don't, then...maybe Alaska?

I know these things are forever away, but a girl can dream, right? Don't worry though; these days are not dragging as I pine for my trips. I mean, how can they when I have a son who declares the occupants of his underpants to the Bishop?

P.S. I should mention, for Rhett's sake at least, that he did not actually have poo in his underwear at tithing settlement. He never really has had a poo accident. But anytime he has any little streaks, well, it's all or nothing for that kid.

P.P.S. Also helping me is this! I won! I used my major award just hours later and spent WAY more than I won, but that's what they hope I do, right? I'm just doing my part for the economy. Winning! (And that's winning in the I-won-a-contest way, not in the yucky-Charlie-Sheen way.)

P.P.P.S. It kills me that I wore hot rollers for three hours before church on Sunday only for the curl to fall out before sacrament meeting was even over. Kills.

Things Rhett Says

He's drawing a picture of his cousin, Emmy.
Rhett: I'm not going to draw a penis because I know girls don't have penises.

We're driving in the car and sun is getting in Ollie's face.
Rhett: Sorry Ollie, but there's nothing we can do about it. Jesus built the sun that way.

I'm trying, for the millionth time that week, to get Rhett to say things for which he's grateful. I'd been pretty successful, until now.
Me: Rhett, can you tell me something for which you're thankful?
Rhett: Mom, I'm pretty tired of that. My heart's just not in it.

On the way home from Thanksgiving dinner, Rhett's trying to decide if he wants books told on the couch, or two stories in bed. Normally we do both, but it was late, so he had to pick only one.
Rhett: I'm going to choose books. Know why, Mom? Because I'm bored and books beat boredom!

Rhett: Can I have a cookie?
Me: No.
Rhett: Can I have a snack?
Me: Yes.
Rhett: Can the snack be a cookie?
Me: [laughter]
The kid got a cookie. Can you blame me?

I'm opening a can of black beans. I finish.
Rhett: Good job you!

On the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day of bedroom carpet wetness, I got tired of happy Christmas music so I checked Chuck's CD player (remember, my car was covered with a carpet pad). It turned on some (edited) Eminem.
Me: This is called rap music, Rhett.
Rhett: Oh. Who likes rap music? Oh, right. Mummies.
Get it? Wrap music? Laffy Taffy wrapper maybe? Halloween joke book? Who knows.

In the Bishop's office for tithing settlement. Because Chuck couldn't be there, I'm juggling both kids after a long, napless Sunday. Any charade that I'm giving off to the Bishop that I can handle this situation surely faded once Rhett said this gem.
Rhett: I have poo in my underwear.

Just in Case You Need to Feel Better about Your Life

I give you mine:

The day of Chuck's surgery we had a rainstorm which dropped more than 2" of rain at our house; that night, we headed for bed as per our usual old, lazy selves. I was feeding Ollie because Chuck is not really supposed to lift anything, plus he was in a considerable amount of pain (but happily no leg pain!). Chuck walked into the bedroom to find his feet squishing in the carpet. Not what you want to happen on a dark, cold, rainy night. After surgery. With a baby at home. Let's be honest: you never want this to happen.

What did I do? What do you think I did? Cried! Ha. Then, because I had no choice, I finished feeding Ollie, put both Chuck and Ollie to bed, and got dressed in rain clothes and boots to go bail out the window well, which had filled with 8" of water during the storm. For 30 minutes I bailed. All the while, I composed my pithy Facebook status update. Chuck and I knew there wasn't much either of us could do about the floor until morning.

Morning came and we borrowed Chuck's parents' wet vac to help get up the water on the carpet. Unfortunately the wet vac put almost all of the water I vacuumed back onto the carpet due to a leak. Out with you, wet vac! Thank goodness it was trash day. It was then that we knew we needed outside help. We called a friend who happens to be a student with classes mostly at night, who easily and quickly came to our aid. (Many, many thanks be given to the Merrills!) Jon and I (mostly Jon) moved all the furniture, disassembled the bed (which won't come out of the room until it's completely broken down), and then pulled up the carpet, and the soaking wet pad. The one fun surprise was some green tile underneath everything! What a treat! Jon cut out the carpet padding and at this very moment, it's drying on my car. (But I must mention how the carpet pad came to be outside.  Soaking wet, the thing weighed a LOT and was very drippy.  So instead of haul it through the entirety of my house, we opted to shove it through the window well, which was now dry.  Fun times.)  The carpet downstairs is drying with a blower I rented from Home Depot. And all of the stuff from our bedroom (minus our two dressers) is sitting all amok in the basement. I want you to guess how this makes me feel. (A mess that I can't clean up? I dare you; take a guess.)







See? Aren't you glad you're not me? Thank goodness I have three of the sweetest boys on earth in this crazy house. Strike that. I have two sweet boys and one smart, funny, cynical man whom I love very much. You know, I think I still want to be me even through all of this. So, sorry, but no, you can't have my life. Now, now, there, there. Don't cry too hard.



However, be very glad you're not Chuck. While his surgery was a total success and his leg pain is completely gone, he's suffering now because, well, someone cut open his back and did stuff. With knives and other sharp objects. He's in a lot of pain and does not like feeling useless. Hopefully this pain will resolve itself quickly so that he can enjoy such things as putting on socks! Lifting his boys! Cleaning the bathrooms! Jogging with me and pushing the double stroller! (Yep, it's all about me.)

P.S. Has anyone ever paid for a cleaning service? Since my parents left, I feel like I haven't been able to really clean and it's starting to drive me crazy. And with Chuck out of commission, I don't see it happening any time soon. I think if I see a deal come up on Groupon, I might just take it.

Apparently Chuck Doesn't Have a Problem with Matching...

...if they're wearing this:


P.S. How cool is this tree (the one in the back)? Sorry about the one in front, but it's a little awkward to take a picture of someone's tree in their backyard while you're driving by in a car. But I love this tree. Rhett wants it in his backyard so he can climb it. You might need to click on the picture to make it bigger; it's worth it.


P.P.S. Surgery today! I'll be at the surgery center with Chuck while a woman (to whom we are extremely grateful) from church watches the little ones. Update later...

A Four-Month-Old Ollie!

Four months! We're that much closer to two years old! (I know, I know; I'm supposed to cherish these baby times because "they grow up so fast." Not true in my house; these days are sloooow.) But oh how we love this baby. We love him almost as much as he loves putting his little baby fists in his mouth and rolling onto his belly.

So far, so good. Sure, we'd love it if he slept through the night like Rhett did at this age, but it could be worse. He could be night-waking AND not taking great naps during the day. So we'll keep our reality, thank-you-very-much. The little one is definitely a solid daytime napper, even quickly adjusting his schedule so that nap #2 coincides perfectly with Rhett's nap. And he's going to bed at 7, which also happens to be Rhett's bedtime. Slowly but surely, we're returning to our lives, but with an additional member whom we love all the way to Pluto (and back to Earth, and then back to Pluto, and then back to Earth, and then back to Pluto, and then...).





Stats
Length: 24 1/3" (25th percentile)
Weight: 13 lbs. 11 oz. (25th percentile)

P.S. My parents check into the MTC today! Awesome! Goodbye parents! See you in 18 months!

I Spy, Chuck Doesn't: 2.0

Is it too soon to make fun of my still-ailing husband? Hope not because...it's time again for another rousing game of "I Spy, Chuck Doesn't!" [Cue game show music, preferably "Wheel of Fortune."] This time you are looking for light bulbs. And please don't judge the state of this cupboard nor the ceiling above it. It stresses me out but I haven't yet made time to organize it.

Anyway, GO! Feel free to click to enlarge.


P.S. How sad is this pizza? You know which quarter is mine, right? Sigh. These boys. They kill me. Doesn't it look one-fourth yummy?

A Dissertation: Differences between Male and Female Activity on Pinterest

A couple of weeks ago I noted that Pinterest seems to be inhabited mostly by women. A friend noted that maybe there were men out there, I just wasn't following them. Touche, Natalie, touche. But it turns out she's right! Who knew?!

So I took it upon myself to check out males who are pinning and see what types of things they're pinning compared to the females. I took a totally non-random sample of females to get a general sense of their boards. Then I looked at another totally biased sample of men. (I only know one and he apparently pins only root beers.) Then I did no sort of valid statistical analysis at all yet I will draw statistical inference on what I found because I'm cool like that. Well-designed surveys can stuff it!

Women: Common boards were crafts, recipes, gift ideas, organizing tips, holiday stuff, home decor, travel, and quotes. Not much variation there.

Men: Much more entertaining boards than those of the women. I found one board called "Cuteness" that contained an 18-pound bunny (uh, "cute," really?). Another board titled, "Dear wifey, please make this." And another titled, "Mushy Stuff." Even one called "Manly Stuff." Most common boards were travel, products, books, technology, video game stuff, music, and movies, virtually no overlap with the women's boards. I will add that many of the men I clicked on had only one board with things pinned onto it, and many had no pins whatsoever. Women were definitely NOT that way.

Finally, and somewhat surprisingly, the Pinterest team? It's a small, California-based team made up of 10 people, and only TWO are women!

Conclusion: Like most other arenas, men and women are different. Finis.

(If only this could count for a dissertation, because I did it while the boys were napping and I was watching Biggest Loser. I'm pretty sure real dissertations are a bit more difficult. But just a bit.)

P.S. I must disclose my method for finding the men. I checked baby names from the year I was born (1977) to find the top five boys' names from that year. Then I searched for them on Pinterest and looked at a couple. Totally scientific and valid. It would pass any peer review; I guarantee it.

P.P.S. DUUUUDE. I got a $2 bill in the mail the other day, in the hopes of swaying me to answer an upcoming phone survey! Will I ever! They just bought me a McDonald's ice cream cone--I owe them much more than a phone survey. I'd likely have done it anyway. To think I almost ripped that envelope in two and threw it in the recycling.

My Poor Husband

Things have been a little rough around here lately. Back in August, Chuck was helping a family move when he felt a tweak in his back. It was annoying for weeks until he played some pretty intense racquetball (the only kind he knows). Later, the tweak tweaked harder. It was not good. Then bad turned to worse, and Chuck's been in wicked pain ever since. After a plethora of chiropractic visits, orthopedic visits, more and more pain, and finally an MRI, we found out what was wrong with him: a herniated disc in his back. And not just any herniated disc, the "worst herniated disc" his doctor had ever seen. Yikes.

Surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, December 7th, which is about two weeks later than we had hoped. It's apparently not that risky as far as back surgery goes, but still. It's back surgery. That can't make anyone feel 100% comfortable. But we feel like it's the best decision. We're also secretly hoping for a cancellation to get him into the O.R. sooner rather than later.

I know it's hard for Chuck. Obviously. He's in serious, near-constant pain and is frustrated with all the things he can't do, namely, play with his kids (kidS--we have children! not just a child! I still am not used to this), help me with the kids and around the house, and sleep (quite possibly the most frustrating). He feels helpless and powerless and worthless. It's not good for his morale.

But it's also hard for me. We all know how much help I need around the house and not having that help is really wearing on me. If I didn't have a new baby and was getting eight straight hours of sleep, maybe I'd feel better, but it's been ridiculously hard. I'm tired. Like permanent red eye tired. I'm emotional (translation: I'm crying a lot). I'm just spent.

I know, I know. This should be about Chuck. He's the one in pain, pain worse than his kidney stones and more constant. But I've never been good at being a compassionate caretaker. When Chuck had one of his first very bad episodes and was laid out on the floor for awhile, I basically threw his iPad at him and told him to keep himself busy. Pretty loving, right? I love my husband, but this is just not how where I excel in showing it.

So needless to say (but I'll say it anyway), we're looking forward to the 7th. Most patients wake up from the surgery having none of the previous pain, only surgery pain. He'll take off from work for a bit and hopefully he'll recover quickly.

I guess when they say, "For better or worse" in marriage vows, this is what they're talking about. I'm just hoping Chuck will forgive this, my "worse."


Chuck's MRI. Pretty awesome to see, right? Disc oozing into nerve = NOT GOOD.

Happy Thanksgiving

What our family is thankful for this year (among other things, of course):

Chuck:
1. The healthy birth of his second son.
2. Good health insurance.

Erin:
1. Giving birth to Ollie in the way I never knew I wanted.
2. I was going to say Chuck's job, but turns out I used that last year. Dang. I will forever be grateful for it. Okay then. I am grateful for my return to running.

Rhett:
1. Bruno and his sticking out tongue.
2. His Little People.

Ollie:
1. Family.
2. His three favorite foods: his hands, burp cloths, and formula (in that order).

Happy Thanksgiving!






Can you tell that Rhett's shirt is the Mayflower on the ocean? How about now?

Making Me Laugh

Because we need a little bit of laughing over here.




This is almost my job!

Last One with All Three; I Promise

I don't want to know how Chuck really feels about the matching outfits. But to his credit, he makes me believe that he doesn't hate it. I guess that shows just what a good sport he's been while I insist on making ridiculous matching ties and suspenders for him and his sons. But sadly, now that Rhett has a brother, I will match the two little boys to each other and leave Chuck out of it. I do know that he's very happy about this.

But honestly, is this not great?




Pretty awesome the sock puppet on Rhett's hand, yes? Stake Conference can get a little long for a three-year-old. Does it make it awesomer that he was pretending it was Nag from Rikki-Tikki-Tavi? Yes, I thought so too. And awesomest? Our stake conference was watched from the Visitors' Center for the D.C. temple. Sweet. But least awesome is how OLD I think I look in that picture. Dang.

Random Thoughts

When you open a box of cereal, do you rip the bag all the away across, or just halfway?

Let's say it's not the day after Halloween, but just some random day. You're out walking your dog and see a nice piece of candy (Starbursts, e.g.). It's completely sealed. Do you eat it?

Is there a food that you detest but you're pretty sure most people love? For example, Chuck hates fish. Hates. But I think most people like it. I think I like liver, but I'm pretty sure most Americans hate it.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being totally inappropriate and 10 being totally appropriate), how appropriate is it for you and your significant other to wear a costume made up of: she wears a t-shirt with an electrical outlet on it and he wears a t-shirt with a plug. Does it depend on whether kids will see you? Is it ever appropriate for this?

A friend gave you a meal. In the meal was a small rock (the kind you use to decorate bottoms of vases). You're pretty sure (but not certain) it was a mistake because the friend knows you have a little one for whom this could be a choking hazard. Thankfully an adult found it and no harm done. Do you tell friend or not, because more than likely, it would mortify him/her?

Do you judge Mormon moms' ages by the number of kids she has? As in, "Well, she probably got married when she was 21, had her first kid at 23, and second at 25. Since the younger child is 1, she's probably 26." I know it's hard not to do, but I really dislike it. Probably because my age does not correspond with regular Mormon childbearing ages.

Why is Pinterest populated mostly by women? (Todd--I love how the only things you've pinned are root beers.) I wonder what Chuck would pin? Maybe I should create an account and start pinning for him.

Just for fun...

What I'm Struggling With Now

Because it's always something with me, isn't?!

Life is good. Parenting two children is getting (slightly) easier. I'm figuring out how to get out and do things with Rhett, all while trying my hardest to help Ollie nap. We've worked hard on our morning routine and have that down. I think that I'll even be able to get laundry done with Rhett and Ollie at home (although that's yet to be tested). We've been able to go to this crazy bounce place as well as the park and library, all while Ollie naps. And even if I haven't been running as much as I'd like, I'm getting my exercise done during Ollie's morning nap. Every day I'm feeling better about this mom-of-two thing.

But. There's always a big butt, right? (Name the movie, win a prize.) In the years Before Ollie (B.O.), Rhett and I were able to get our errands run together in the morning. Running, Target, grocery shopping, craft stores...he went with me! Sure, not his favorite thing, but we didn't do it every day so the kid survived. With exercising and errands out of the way, our afternoons were spent together as family: walking Bruno, playing, making dinner. Then, in the joyous hours after Rhett's bedtime (that beautiful three-hour block), Chuck and I did whatever we wanted: church calling stuff, sewing, reading, computering, watching television, whatever. But it was our selfish time. (Do you love how I listed TV last, as if it was a last resort?)

But in the months After Ollie (A.O.), not so much. I can't seem to figure out how to run errands with a boy in a car seat (that takes up an entire shopping cart) who can only stay up for two hours at a time. And when his evening nap coincides with walking the dog, well, what to do? And running? Not happening except on Saturdays because I just can't give up our afternoons and it's just too dark and dangerous to do it while kids are asleep. So I struggle.

For some reason, the idea of dividing and conquering has only recently occurred to me. For us, we've just always done things together. But I think, for a little while at least, I am going to have to reevaluate. It might just have to happen that only Rhett and I go to pug group or walk Bruno in the afternoons while Chuck stays with a napping Ollie. And maybe I have to spend Monday nights at the grocery store, alone, instead of working on my latest Pinterest project. Do I like this? Nope. Does it take hard work to think in this new paradigm? Yep. But it's my little life and I'm just going to have to adjust.

And really, when I have this guy looking at me, it sure does make it a joyful little life.




P.S. I've been to known to complain just the tiniest bit about Maryland's weather. So in order to be fair, I must state that Maryland has delivered the most amazing November ever. I'm not lying. Highs have been in the 50s and 60s and days have been mostly sunny. And the fall foliage! Simply breathtaking. I will always try to give credit when credit is due.

P.P.S. If I'm doling out credit, some must be given to Chuck. In the past week he performed three miracles: (1) picking up the weeks-old cricket carcass that I couldn't make myself do, (2) unloading the dishwasher unasked, and (3) getting a new bar of soap after he used up the last one. Hallelujah!

Scenes from the Floor