Out of the Mouth of Rhett

Me: Rhett, you can't have more toast until you finish your egg and strawberries.
Rhett: But I want more toast.
Me: When you finish all your toast and strawberries, I'll give you another piece of toast.
Rhett: But I don't like strawberries. All I like is bread and chocolate.

[We spent the morning like this: me cleaning the kitchen, while Rhett tried to entertain himself. Then we went to a consignment sale for kids' stuff. It was not the most exciting day for a 2-year-old. That all changed once we bought some Girl Scout cookies, which Rhett had never had before.]
Rhett: This is the bestest day EVER, Mom!
Me: Why? Nothing special happened.
Rhett: But I get to eat a Girl Scout cookie! [Note: This was before he'd even tried it.]
Me: Would you rather go to the zoo or eat a Girl Scout cookie?
Rhett: I would like to go to the zoo AND eat a Girl Scout cookie!

Rhett: I hope we don't see any animals. [We were on a hike in the wilds of suburban D.C.]
Me: Why not?
Rhett: Because they might pee on us.

And its relative...
Rhett: Is there cinnamon in here?
Me: Maybe; I can't remember. Can you taste it?
Rhett: I don't know. Is it spicy?
Me: Well it's a spice, but it's not hot.
Rhett: I don't like spicy or soggy or animals that poo on us.
Me: What animals poo on us?
Rhett: Animals that we don't know.

And I have no idea where this came from, but he started talking about how his belly is big and that's he's fat. What?! He didn't seem concerned at all about it, but still. Then he went on to tell me that I have a fat belly too. Ha. Chuck corrected him by saying that I'm round, not fat. (Thanks dear.) So later that night while telling him his "stories," he told me that I hurt him with my big, round belly. And to think, all of this at only half-way of pregnancy. Just wait and see how round I'll get, little man!

Me: I'm a mean, mean momma from outer space! [Botching a line from "Little Shop of Horrors."]
Rhett: You're not from outer space, Mom.
Me: I'm not? Where am I from then?
Rhett: [After thinking] God and Jesus sent you to me.

We're off to Hershey and Chocolate World for the little man's birthday!