Okay people. With my due date falling sometime this week, I think I can handle it. If not, well, too late, right?! I want the good, the bad, and the ugly of adding a second child to our family. Don't be afraid to scare me. Go crazy. 'Cause really, even if it does scare me, maybe it'll just scare this baby out of me!
P.S. For any local Marylanders wondering if there's anything you can do to help at this time, really the only thing I'll need is visitors after about two weeks. I am the sort that doesn't like to take new babies out much, which means I end up staying in. Understandably, I get bored. And if you live far away, just call. If I'm feeding the baby or sleeping, I won't answer the phone, but I'll know you called and that will make me feel better.
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Erin,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you gave instruction on what we can do...you're so efficient and on top of things!
As for the 2nd child, easy peasy! The 3rd one is the hard one. I felt so confident after 2, I know I could handle three. Boy was I wrong! By that point we figured, "What the hey, we're already outnumbered lets add one more." :)
Seriously, I think the hardest part of adding a 2nd child is taking the time you need and the baby needs. You time will be out the window for awhile. And when the baby needs to nurse, you sit and do it regardless of what Rhett may need. He will learn to wait (it is a hard lesson when you've been an only child, but a necessary one to learn). When Lillee was a baby and not growing very well, I called a lactation consult and she asked me to sit down and show her how I feed the baby. I grabbed my nursing pillow, had a seat and just got Lillee position when Connor came tearing through, "Mommy, I need milk." So I jumped up and got him milk. I was settled for about 2 minutes when he came tearing through again needing something else. I hopped up and grabbed it. Before 5 minutes was up the LC said, "Your baby is not growing because of your son."
What the what?!?! She was dead on, though. I immediately put on a video and had Connor sit down for awhile so I could nurse. I found I was using TV more than I ever had, but it was almost necessary to keep a hyper kid occupied long enough for me to tend to Lillee's needs.
Anyway, sorry for the novel...the gist of it is take the time the baby needs and there is nothing wrong with taking some time that you need. You have an amazingly supportive husband and I'm sure you guys are going to continue to be awesome parents!
I think one of the adjustments for me that I've slowly been realizing is how hard I can be on child #1. How my expectations for her just skyrocketed when I realized that I wanted extra hands and wanted her to be gentle with child #2. I get frustrated so easily with her because she doesn't know how to treat baby, or get exasperated easily because I want her to do more but she isn't quite capable of doing it on her own. Or I get all googly-eyed and adoring over baby and then forget that child #1 needs some tender moments too... maybe even more! Or I just realize that I'm harsh on her when I punish her for hurting the baby when it's very much, honestly, an accident, when she's showing love but just learning how to do so softly and properly.
ReplyDeleteAside from that... I can't think of anything else... probably because having 2 kids fried my brain. Or what was left of it after child #1. :)
You don't need advice. You and Chuck are great parents. Just keep doing what you've been doing with Rhett... oh, but tailor it to the personal needs of baby #2. Cinch, right?
I don't remember life with just 2 kids. My brain has denied access to those parts of my memory. j/k I vaguely recall that my not quite 2yo watched a lot more TV/shows than I ever imagined I would allow a 2yo to watch. I remember lots of baby safety gadgets and gates and being very concerned about protecting the baby from big sister.
ReplyDeleteBut I also remember lots of sweet moments and as they got bigger how fun it was to see the baby crawl over big sister and all the laughing and playing that happened from then on. The hard part early on passes quickly.
you are going to die. well wait a minute, i guess i haven't died yet so there is a chance you will live. in the event that you do live, understand rhett may be a little naughty for a while. not at first of course, only after he realizes that baby max isn't going home to his own house because now max lives at rhett's house with him. not to worry, they get used to it after a while. can't wait for the phone call, text, email and or all of the above. yeah for almost being done being prego!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was pregnant with my second, I remember being more worried about my first child's reaction to a new baby than I was my delivery/pregnancy. She did so much better than I thought--she totally fell in love with her brother like we did. The thing that was hard for her was learning to be soft with the baby--even a year later she pushes and shoves him over thinking she is playing. So that is a concept that I have beat my head against a wall trying to teach her.
ReplyDeleteFor me, adding another kid to the mix wasn't that hard. It honestly was harder for me adjusting to one child than two just because I was not prepared for how great my life would change. But with my second I was sooooo much more confident in what I was doing, so much more relaxed. So yes it is harder logistically, but you already know what you are in for and what you are doing (for the most part).
Yay!! Good luck! I'm excited to meet betamax!! I wish I was close enough to visit!
ReplyDeletehonestly i just remember ENJOYING that #2 baby so much more than being a PARANOID first time parent like i was with #1. it all felt more natural, easier, and well BETTER, all around. obviously #1 learns to wait, but that's good, right? honestly i hope you find what i did and just ENJOY this baby without the constant paranoia. mitt was AWESOME with his brother and loved him instantly, what's a better gift than a sibling, i mean really. i had a HARD time in the weeks before #2 realizing that it wouldn't be me and my buddy anymore that dynamic changes, but in a GOOD way. you'll be AMAZING. good luck. can't wait to SEE him, via the blog of course. ;)
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