Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Mom Patch

I collect patches when I travel to new places. I sew them onto my travel duffel (or they just sit in my craft closet waiting to be sewn) and it makes me feel happy to see them and remember my days on the move. A lot of my patches came from my European backpacking trip with Rachael and wow, was that a time. Such good memories. In fact, I'm not sure any of the patches bring up bad memories.

Anyway, patches. When a friend and I were recently discussing doing things that made us feel good about our mom-selves, I couldn't help but think of mom patches. Of course mom patches aren't a thing...yet. But I really think they should be. If I knew how to make patches, I'd make these.

And exactly what would you have to do to get a so-called "mom patch?" How about going to the grocery store with n + 1 kids (n being the number of kids you had before recently giving birth)? For me, going with both kids (and no husband) for the first time was a big deal. I was so gosh-darn proud of myself, even if I did only purchase three things. Give me a patch!

What else...What about walking both kids and the dog? With two in the stroller-as-wide-as-a-house and a dog who has to stop to pee every 10 yards, this is a big deal. I want a patch!

And DUH. Potty training. Hello! If anything deserves a mom patch (or a new wardrobe complete with pedicure) it's potty training. Totally patch-worthy. (I should mention that in our house, this is a dad patch. But still, just as deserved.)

One more that comes to mind: my first pie. The first time I made a pie with a homemade-by-me crust, I was ecstatic. Patch me!

For what haven't I earned a patch? Running with both kids. Now that Ollie's six months old, I technically can. But 35-pound Rhett + 15-pound Ollie + 30-pound stroller = 80 pounds of "I am totally scared to." Nor have I ventured downtown or on the metro with both kids. But I'd want a patch for that, for sure.

Turns out there are a lot of places online that will make them for you! If I buy 100+, one place will charge only $1.54 per patch! I could totally sell them on Etsy for $4 a piece right?! So, uh, any other ideas for things that you feel should be awarded with patches? What made you feel proud and/or accomplished as a mom or as a woman? If I'm to run a successful mom patch business, I need other people under me (preferably ones making no money) giving me all the great ideas. Spit 'em out, people!


  1. man i think you are hilarious. . . and brilliant. i mean, i could totally see mom patches adorning diaper bags. :) i can't think of too many patches. . . maybe one like, "i showered before noon!" or something like, "i made dinner while nursing!" nothing quite as great as yours. . . i'll keep thinking. :)

  2. Me me me!!! I want to be part of your unpaid minions, part of your creative team behind the scenes!!!!!

    I totally want the metro + 2 kids to DC patch!

    And I have loads of ideas for you. I think this is BRILLIANT. SERIOUSLY. QUIT YOUR JOB. DO THIS.

  3. So fun!

    Public bathroom with two kids, especially when the potty training child needs to poop. That one is lovely!

    I think in the beginning, just making a complete dinner from scratch with kid(s) is quite the accomplishment.

    Restaurant with two kids.

    Catching throw up with your hands.

    Saying things you never would have thought to say like, "Please do not lick the toilet."

    Oh, doctor visits with two kids needing immunizations. Oh the noise!

  4. Erin, you are a genius! I would totally buy patches to adorn my diaper bag. It would be fun to have them check off experiences you survived as a new mom so that others could see your mom stats.

    Some ideas:

    "I survived my first blow-out"
    "I can handle a teething baby and a whiney toddler!"
    "Why, yes, I do have cheese and raisins in my pocket."
    "I washed ten loads of laundry in one day and didn't die."
    "I changed my kid's sheets in the middle of the night."
    "Nap time is the bomb."

  5. Here are a few ideas:

    I can carry my toddler, a diaper bag, and my purse with one arm and have one hand free to hold coffee.

    I've been singing along to the Wiggles CD in my car 20 minutes after dropping my child off at daycare.

    I hold my hand out for "something icky" that needs to be spit out without thinking twice.

    I wore spit-up on my shoulder all day... and I didn't even care.

  6. These comments are getting better and better. Seriously. You're running with this idea, right??? I LOVE them! There should at least be a website repository of things we wish could be on patches!

  7. love it.
    cleaning up vomit and holding the barf cup/bowl
    taking ALL of your kids to the store (4 is so much fun!)
    running with two kids in the jogging stroller
    going on a solo road trip with all the kids
    volunteering in the classroom for your kid

    NOT taking forgotten homework for you child so they learn a lesson now with lesser consequences. not sure what you'd call that. maybe "Love and Logic Parent" or "Not a Helicopter Mom". you know, doing the harder thing as a parent even if you really want to be "nice".

    Sewed/Crafted something awesome for my child

    Cooked a whole weeks worth of meals with no assistance from daddy. Sadly I think I have yet to do this.

    Bathed, Jammied, Teeth Brushed Stories Read and all 4 kids under age 10 asleep before 8:30. Amazing feat when that happens.

  8. This is a great idea! MY patch idea would be: 1st NO KID date night after a baby is born. This seems to be difficult for some reason - whether trying to find a babysitter or just get out of the house in general! There's another one! Getting out of the house with NO KIDS. Basically anything with no kids :) Also, I find that I am very proud of myself when I get dinner on the table where everything is hot and ON TIME.

    I hope you actually do these - I think it's a brilliant idea. Mom Merit Badges. Love.