So. Not unlike other children, Rhett really likes peanut butter (and honey--thanks Grandpa No Google!). A lot. In fact, he likes it as much as Chuck likes pizza, which is enough to eat it everyday if given the option. Thankfully, however, Chuck doesn't start crying when I tell him he can't have pizza for lunch. Score. But Rhett, oh man, he will throw a fit when told he can't have peanut butter and honey for lunch.
Twice a week, on the days when he goes to the babysitter's house, I send him with peanut butter and honey. I'm totally taking the easy way out by doing it, but I don't want her to have to fight with him the way I do. So I fold. He does get carrot sticks though; that makes me feel a little bit better. But it's really important to me that he learns to like and eat many different things on the other five days. And when I say "different" it's not like I'm putting sashimi in front of him. I'm asking him to eat BBQ chicken pizza or tuna or enchiladas. I don't think I'm being too unreasonable here, am I?
Recently I asked a parenting "expert" about how to help my toddler become a better eater. This was her response:
I'm kind of tough on picky eaters because they often just get pickier and pickier. Part of this is due to the texture of a food--liver is anathema to most children--but you have a family kitchen, not a food court.
This sounds cruel, but if you try it, I promise that your child won't starve: Put away any food your child eats, cancel your visits and your visitors, and only offer three meals a day and two snacks of foods your child has always refused. Do it sweetly, say that's okay honey, I'm sorry you're not hungry, and take him out of his high chair in 20 minutes. No cookies, no pbh. By the third night, I promise you he'll eat whatever you put in front of him and he'll be amazed how much he likes it. The trick is being nice--and not negotiating, not making a big deal of it.
After last night's showdown where we tried to get Rhett to eat some enchiladas, I'm done. I think I could do what she suggested if I think it's the right thing. And the more and more picky he becomes, the closer I get to thinking it's the right thing. But what do you think of this method? Too cruel? Any other tips on how to make Rhett a better eater?
While we're at it, any tips at making Chuck a better eater? Kidding! (Kind of.)
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I am horrible with this! Kids are all so different and they change all of the time. Sam is definitely my picky eater. We don't cater to him at dinner, and we always force him to try at least one bite. More often than not, he will end up loving it. Where we struggle is lunchtime. He hates peanut butter! He also hates cold cuts and tuna. I have no idea what to pack in his school lunch! For a while I was packing a PB&J or turkey sandwich, but he would never eat them! Lately I've been resorting to just jelly sandwiches (that will make you feel better about yourself!). It is so frustrating! I think I may have a lunch food "sampling" with Sam to try and discover something that I can pack in his lunch which is healthy and that he likes. Any ideas?????
ReplyDeleteI use to be better about cooking regularly and trying all sorts of new foods, but with 4 kids, homeschooling and trying to lose weight I'm not doing much in the way of cooking and my kids are becoming picky eaters because of it.
ReplyDeleteI've recently announced that I will make one dinner, and one dinner ONLY!. I had been making a bit of this and a bit of that just to keep everyone eating.
I've also found that I can slightly alter food to accomdate tastes without making a separate meal. Spaghetti is one of those simple meals for example. But most of my kids don't like tomato sauce so instead I offer noodles, with butter, parmessan and garlic powder and leave the sauce off for them.
I also expect my children to try at least one bite of everything, even if they've had it before and didn't like it, tastes change!
I don't think the suggested method is cruel, it will be harder for you than it will be for Rhett. We want our children to eat and be happy but sometimes those things cannot go hand in hand.
Offer variety and be excited about the food you're eating. Rhett is old enough to understand your conversations and it's important that he hears you being positive and excited about the food. When Al grumbles about something on his plate, the kids start grumbling too...even if they like it. So I have a rule for the table. If you try it, don't like and don't want it, just leave it on your plate. DO NOT say, "I don't like this. I don't want this" as this is infectious!
As for helping Chuck, I've struggled with Al for many years...he's doing better. He now begs for Brussels sprouts, cauliflower and brocolli (as does Chase and the other kids). I've had to find cooking methods that appeal to everyone. There are simple veggie prep recipes on my fod blog if you're interested (mostly under the heading HEALTHY).
I also count peanut butter and honey as a successful lunch option :) They are having whole grain bread, some protein with a little fat and honey is a lovely natural sugar that I encourage my kids to eat often...sometimes they just have a teaspoonful for the fun of it (I'd rather them have honey than juice or jam). Sorry for the long-winded response.
I watched a show that said that kids are genetically wired to like sweet, white food, since these foods are generally "safe" in nature. So they really do taste better to them for a reason. Truman only likes two things, plain tuna or jam and butter. I mix it up with different fruits and veggies (he likes sliced beets). And we have him eat at least 3-4 bites of any dinner. I just figure he will survive even if he eats the same lunch everyday for a few years.
ReplyDeleteWell, I obviously am in the same boat here! We just tell Molly that she can have banana bread or some other "treat" that she likes after dinner if she will take ___ bites, usually like 3 or so. We say if you don't, then you go to bed. That's it.
ReplyDeleteI think the advice you were given would work, but yes it's so hard for the parents. We try to say, take a bite of dinner, then you can have a bite of toast (since she loves bread/rolls).
Molly probably has pb every day too! Loves it! I try to mix it up...with crackers or with apples or in a sandwich. I feel for ya! Good luck! We have fights a lot about this and I'm really hoping it will pay off pretty soon!
I have 4 kids and have never made more than one dinner. Ever. I'm not saying they eat it, but it is their choice.
ReplyDeleteLunch is different. I cater to all of them. I ask them what they want for lunch, pb&j, tuna, ham and cheese. I don't mind making their request for lunch. They also have grapes, carrots, cucumbers, or other healthy sides to go along with it.
Dinner time is my time. I make what we are having and always have fruits and veggies on the side. Even if it is simple like apple slices and carrot sticks. We are not a one dish dinner family. I like variety for me and for the kids. The deal is they have to try everything. I don't care if it is only one bite, but they have to try. If they decide they "aren't hungry" then I set their plate aside and if they tell me they are hungry later I offer them their dinner again. Still not hungry? Okay you can eat breakfast in the morning. It works for us.
I also don't give any snacks after 3:30 in the afternoon. Water bottles only after the 3:30 "last call." My kids are soooo much better at eating more of the dinner when we don't snack after 3:30.
only other thought, as my oldest has gotten older he has not gotten pickier. It maxed out around age 6 or 7 and now he is pretty willing to try everything (at age 9) without a fuss. He doesn't like everything, but he tries it all and surprises himself more often than not.
ReplyDeletewe have to send Laney to bed all the time if we are not eating pizza, biscuits and gravy, or spaghettos for dinner. actually, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you got the idea. we have to remind her to eat her dinner LOTS. we always have. at first we just let her have a couple of bites of whatever, but she would ALWAYS come back an hour later and tell us how hungry she was right before bed. and i would cave cause who wants to send their kids to bed hungry?!
ReplyDeletenow, if she doesn't eat what we deem an appropriate age/size amount, we just tell her to stand against the wall until she is ready or to go to bed hungry. it's worked a little better, but it's still a tough call. just keep trying to put new things out there and have him try them. don't make it too big a deal tho, more of just a matter of fact kind of thing or some how you've opened yourself up to negotiations without realizing it.
those are my two cents at least...
Just a thought I had while reading your post and the comments because I also have picky eaters. Abbie is my best eater and she started out really picky. She went through a phase where she only wanted spaghetti-o's. I can't stand even the smell of them so I asked the Dr. for help with this one because she wouldn't eat anything else. He told me to always offer her what we were eating and if she wouldn't eat it then let her have the spaghetti-o's. It didn't take too long before she started eating what we offered to her and has never liked spaghetti-o's since then. Now she is my best eater and always willing to try new foods.
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