More Things Rhett Says

I'm telling Rhett a made-up story about our recent aquarium trip wherein we saw just one piranha.
Me: ...And the little boy say many piranhas.
Rhett: Piranha. Just one, Mom.
Me: Oh. Okay. Are you going to keep correcting me?
Rhett: No, Mom. Unless you say something else wrong.

Rhett: Mom, when I'm a teenager, I think I'll call Kitty, "Cat."

Rhett: Mom, I like everything you make. Well, not all your dinners, but all the things you sew.

During sacrament, I'm going through the gospel art book with Rhett. We're looking at the picture of Jesus knocking on a door.
Me: Rhett, what do you think this is?
Rhett: Jesus, knocking at heaven's door.
You remember why this is funny? His favorite song is Guns 'n' Roses, "Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door."

Me: Rhett, will you go outside and get the newspaper please?
Rhett: No.
Me: Why not?
Rhett: [Imagine him putting his little hand to his mouth in a "whisper" pose and then speaking in a whisper voice.] Slugs.

Chuck and Rhett are walking to the car. Rhett trips and scrapes his knees (putting a hole in his only pair of church pants--thrift store here I come!) and hands.
Chuck: You better take good care of your hands and knees! They are really important.
Rhett: Why? Well, your knees help you walk and your hands do a lot of other things.
Rhett: I think my most important parts are my bum and penis.
Chuck: Why?
Rhett: Because that's where I poo and pee!

I'm showing Rhett my socks with too many holes in them.
Me: Man, I really need some new socks.
Rhett: Why don't you ask Jesus, I mean, Santa for them?
Me: Why can't I ask Jesus?
Rhett: Because Christmas will probably be here before Jesus comes back.

One Sunday morning, Chuck and Rhett ran over to Chuck's parents' house to borrow a crockpot. When they got there, everyone was still getting ready for church. Rhett's Aunt Linda had just gotten out of the shower and had a towel on her head and body. What follows is our conversation on our way to church.
Rhett: I can't wait to see Aunt Linda with clothes on.

Unless it's Sunday, I never pick out Rhett's clothes. And when he picks out crazy things, I never comment except to tell him good job for getting himself dressed. But that also means sometimes my child wants to wear this...with moon boots. Awesome. He even told me that he thought I'd like the tie. Oh I do, little buddy, I do!